The Glazier

We all make windows

5 

10 

15

65 year windows

Education

Career

Marriage

Family windows

Clean lines

Clear glass

Big frames

Bright light

Perfect

Except?

None of us are window makers…

My father is a Glazier

(That’s a professional window maker)

Beautiful glass that sparkles and shines. Art that no one could ever compete or compare. And the ones He makes? They are unbreakable.

He’s so good at it

At knowing just what a window needs

Just what a customer wants

My Father wanted to make one for me

And yeah, it would have been unbreakable

But it didn’t look how I wanted

So I made my own.

It was everything I wanted it to be

And everything they said it should be.

Clean lines

Clear glass

Big frames

Bright light

I worked so hard to build it, to take care of it. 

Clean, 

Dusted, 

Polished

Painted 

But, 

No matter how hard I worked

How hard I tried

I couldn’t make it unbreakable

And one day. 

Someone broke it

In a way I couldn’t have imagined

And I hadn’t prepared for

I saw the sparkling rain

Heard the music as my window hit the ground

I can’t explain that feeling. 

Never truly

Never fully

When something or someone hits you so hard, your entire being is projected into another dimension of yourself. When your mind retreats inside your heart, and your heart hides in your gut, leaving fog and ice in their place. A force inside like a black hole sucks the air from your lungs, pulls you from the hurt outside, and you want nothing more than for it to take you far away.

But it doesn’t

It can’t

Your gut can’t handle your heart, so it gets sick.

Your heart can’t handle your mind, so it breaks

Your mind can’t handle the pain, so it freezes

Sick

Broken

Frozen

Now what?

When my soul returned to my body, I knelt, unfeeling, glass poking at my knees in vain

Oh, the pieces!

Sharp

Jagged

Broken 

Missing

They could never be the same

Never be what I wanted again

The more I tried the more I hurt

The cuts on my hands reflected in my heart

Blood mixing with my tears

My Father was there. 

I should have been happy

Relieved

Instead, I was just ashamed

And honestly? Angry

I knew His windows were better

I knew they were unbreakable

But I wanted my window!

I liked how it looked!

And I made it myself!

It was everything I had ever wanted

And it was mine

He held me as I cried

Wrapped the cuts on my hands

He was kind and understanding

Sweet and patient

Never proud

I loved Him

But I didn’t want it

I just wanted my window

He offers to help

To make me one of His windows

But I don't want His window!

Can’t you put it back??? How I had it? How I wanted it!?

He brushes the tears from my eyes and pulls me close. I can feel the love and understanding in His embrace, as well as the grief in His voice.

My child, it can never be the same.

I shoved Him away

I can’t make a window unbreakable

And He wouldn’t make one the way I want

And He is right

He is always right

Nothing will ever be the same

As I grieved on my knees, I heard my Father working the glass behind me. What did it matter, I can’t fix it anyway.

He brings in His tools

Hammers

Cutters

Putty and

Paint?

No! That’s not how it’s supposed to be! Why can’t you just fix it!? Why does it have to change!? I knew how I wanted it! I was happy! Dad? STOP!

I pulled at His arm

I stepped on His tools

And He did stop

He turned from His work

No anger

No indignation

Only tears in His eyes

He placed His strong hands on my shoulders, squeezed me lightly

I could feel the callouses and scars from years of work

My love,

Please

I know you

More than anyone could ever know you

More than you could ever know yourself

I know your home

And I know the world

More than you will ever have to

I love you, my child

I want what is best for you

Even if you can’t see what that is

Please, my love

Trust me 

Trust me blindly

Trust me with your broken pieces

Please

My Father

I love Him

And I do trust Him

I think

But it’s so uncomfortable not knowing

Being out of control

Especially when you think you know what you want

When you wanted it so bad

Trust you blindly?

He smiled at me. 

To be fair, from His perspective, I was a total mess

Stuffy, runny nose

Swollen red eyes

Hair in all directions where worried hands had run through

Bloody, bandaged hands.

Still stubborn

Still His

Adorable mess

He bent and looked through His supplies and found a clean strip of cloth. Smoothing out the creases as He stood, He held the blindfold up to me.

And He waited, looking into my eyes 

Asking me to trust Him.

He would not blind me. 

That was my choice.

I loved Him

So I trusted Him

Even though I didn't feel it

I leaned into the cloth, eyes closed, with a sigh. I more so fell into the cloth, as my head ended up bumping against His chest. He fixed the blindfold, gently securing it, before leading me to a safe place to lie down. He got me some water, making sure I was comfortable, and once I was at peace, He kissed my head and went back to work

I rested to the sound of His art and the peace of His promise. 

I couldn't see what He was doing, and I was so anxious to. It felt like it took forever, but finally, the music stopped. I heard Him come and kneel in front of me. He took my hand.

My love,

It is finished. 

We stood and I let Him lead me to the window, His arm around my shoulders. 

My Father.

When we arrived. He hugged me tightly, His love and peace flowing through my soul. He reached up and undid the blindfold. I pulled from HIs embrace and looked up into His eyes, but all I could see was a bright light. 

The light from the window

Streaming through colored pieces of glass

Shining in beaming ribbons

Floating on my skin

Dancing across the walls and floor

The broken pieces of my window

Shaped

Dyed

Melded 

Together with new pieces.

My Father’s pieces

A bigger window

A beautiful masterpiece

It was better

It was better than what I wanted

Oh, Dad!

I gave Him a big hug

My Father, the Glazier

His craft is wonderful!

His talent unmatched!

He squeezed me tight

Kissed my head

Stroked my messy hair

He leaned down and whispered in my ear

I saw him break your window

I tasted it then

The ice and fog

I leaned back and looked into His eyes, and saw my tears reflected there

Dad- you could have stopped them?

He shook His head. I was at a loss-

Why?

He sighs deeply, wipes the tears from my eyes

My love, I am a Glazier and I am your Father

I saw your window, 

I know you worked hard, 

I know how much you wanted it.

But it wasn’t enough

The seals were broken

The frame was thin

The panels were loose and insecure

It shook and swayed with the lightest breeze

If a storm came?

And you were underneath it?

If the panels slipped above your head?

My love, 

My child

You would have surely been killed…

My jaw dropped, speechless. The tears on His cheeks- I knew He was serious. 

I would have died…

He pulled me tightly into His arms.

I let them break your window. 

I want you to have a perfect window

Perfect in my professional eyes

Security

Safety

Peace

Stability

But also?

Masterful

Exquisite

Valuable

Beautiful

I never want you to hurt

But I had more than that for you 

I allowed this pain, 

This injury

This grief 

To prevent those that would be greater

And to bless you with a greater window

Your broken pieces are my masterpiece

And through me? 

I have made your broken pieces into a new window

One that is unbreakable

That can withstand any storm

I love you, my child

Thank you for trusting me.

The Glazier

By Mercy Henriksen

Verse of the Post!

Jeremiah 29:11-13

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.